Last week saw the fulfilment of a lifetime’s ambition as I attended a picket in the People’s Republic of South Yorkshire. From the perspective of the grubby-fingered trader in human misery I am becoming, Barnsley Town Hall 2006 was not Orgreave 1984. There were no cavalry charges to spice up my copy, just half a dozen strikers offering tea and gentle teasing. Nevertheless, more people downed tools last Tuesday than during the miners strike two decades ago. In fact last week’s stoppage was...
Only in England could a leader be in danger of losing power because he sold admission to an exclusive club to those with the money to pay for it (the word ‘allegedly’ apologises for its absence from this sentence). This week’s scandal enveloping Tony Blair’s government concerns ‘cash for peerages’. Facing a financial crunch in the run-up to last year’s general election, the Labour party accepted several anonymous seven-figure loans from rich businessmen. Shortly afterwards, some of these ...
This week was one of those rare occasions when I felt sorry for the British prime minister. The media furore over Tony Blair’s remarks about God on the Parkinson show has been unfair. It is simply wrong to insinuate, as some papers did yesterday, that the PM said that his disastrous Middle Eastern adventure had been endorsed by the Big Guy. He said no such thing. After some prompting, Blair actually said that God would judge him for the decision to invade Iraq. This is the biggest non-sto...
What is it with New Labour and money? For years senior government ministers have seemed obsessed with hoarding personal wealth. First there was Peter Mandelson who used a millionaire snake to climb the property ladder. Then there was David Blunkett doing a bit of consultancy during his gap year. Now it’s Tessa Jowell’s many mortgages. The common thread here is of eminently comfortable upper middle-class people aspiring to the lifestyles of the super-rich - the Berlusconis, Murdochs an...
For those of us who lived through the Drumcree stand-offs of the 1990s, along with the fear and the tension of those days, there was also the base comedy of it all, the sheer ridiculousness of a society brought to a standstill by this little local difficulty. Much of the mirth stemmed from the obvious mismatch between the slick PR of republicans against the clumsy, inarticulate bumbling of the Orange order. More than anything, Drumcree demonstrated the order’s pig-headed determination to ...
Absent from most of the coverage of the Dunfermline and West Fife by-election result was any analysis of what it meant for Britain’s newest political leader, David Cameron of the Conservative party. Here in the UK, Mr Cameron’s every utterance and gesture is greeted by gushing press coverage from a media infatuated with its latest plaything. Aged just 39 and presentable enough, Dave, as his followers know him, seems to lead a Conservative party finally able to win back power so decisively ...
A few months back an English newspaper published a cartoon showing the president of the United States of America buggering a camel. Now I fully accept that some people may find such a drawing offensive - to camels. However, political cartoons sometimes have to be blunt, crude even, to get their point across. It’s the nature of the medium. A few of the now infamous Danish Dozen cartoons about the Prophet Mohammad are about as subtle as the camel drawing, but most of them are not nearly as...
It was a poor week for the conventionally wise. Virtually every article I have read about the Palestinian elections has described the result as "a shock". The vast majority of the commentariat have been caught flat-footed by Hamas’ thumping victory in last week’s poll. Am I alone in feeling that the result was no shock at all, that in fact it has been coming for a long time? For those who take an interest in the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, it took no great expertise to predict that the ...
"We go around the world nicking other people’s stuff. What the fuck do we have to be proud of?" As a well-known up and coming journalist, I research these articles thoroughly before hitting the submit button. Rest assured, dear reader, that these blogs are the result of literally minutes of hard work. So when I read over the weekend that the British Chancellor of the Exchequer, Gordon Brown had called for a new national holiday to celebrate Britishness, I resolved to canvas opinion among...
Another night, another meeting. Chin propped on hand, I struggle to maintain a facade of interest. How many of these meetings have I been to in my life? Dozens now, first as participant, now as observer. Slithering down the meeting food-chain, I’ll be putting the chairs out next. All of us present know the routine from so many other meetings held in cold, dark rooms on windswept nights: minutes, matters arising, agenda, any other business, date of next meeting, home. Through the motions w...
I happened to be in east Berlin in 1994 when the DDR’s long-time dictator Erich Honecker passed away in his South American exile. On hearing the news, my host reflected on his passing succinctly: "That’s one more for tea tonight, Satan." His words come to mind today as Ariel Sharon lies close to death in Jerusalem. It would be comforting to think that the Bulldozer will soon be sitting down to dinner with the Devil. But one of the disadvantages of being an atheist is that we do not believ...
Some years ago, a British documentary crew followed a group of soldiers as they patrolled the border of Northern Ireland. A young officer, squatting in the Irish mud of a wet weekday, pointed to the farmhouse in the distance. "You see that farm over there?" he asked. "Half of it’s in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and the other half’s in the Republic of Ireland. It’s all very silly." Even those charged with defending borders can sometimes appreciate the absurd...
"Legislate in haste, repent at leisure" runs an old adage, the evident wisdom undiluted by the consistency with which it is ignored. Laws should not be written while the first flushes of anger redden the cheeks or the initial gasps of excitement fill the lungs. In particular, it is a poor idea to react to a terrorist attack by reaching for the statute book. It is galling to see how frequently governments react to a bombing by introducing so-called "anti-terror" legislation. These new "tou...
I have a rule of thumb that, in order to be hurt by someone's criticism of me, I have to first respect that person. If some half-wit wants to act like a six year old and fling insults around, it's of no concern to me. But if someone who I hold in high esteem criticises something I've said or done, then I take their views seriously. Such a relaxed attitude to abuse has served me well on Joeuser when the Neanderthals get into full swing. So it was that I reacted to Father Alec Reid's r...
It is almost enough to make you feel sorry for him. In interview after interview, Tory leadership contender David Cameron is interogated about his gilded upbringing. How, he is asked repeatedly, can an old Etonian hope to become Prime Minister of 21st century Britain? Each time I witness this sad spectacle, I can't help feeling a deep sense of unease at the sheer unfairness of the line of questioning. Cameron no more chose to go to Eton than he chose the colour of his eyes. The decision to...