How Many Of These Do You Have?

Published on May 1, 2005 By O G San In Misc

I've been lucky enough to travel and to live in different countries. Along the way, I've met people from various nations and cultures. But regardless of background, I find there are three characteristics which I look for in a new acquaintance: self-deprecation, intellectual curiosity and joie de vivre.

I'm not a fundamentalist about this, it's great if you have all three (the grand slam), but I won't write you off if you only possess one or two. I myself lack joie de vivre, which probably makes it the most important of the three to me. It's concievable that I may like you even if you have none of the above (the wooden spoon), though you would have to have three other characteristics: femininity, attractiveness and appalling taste in men. Anyone notice the implied self-deprecation in the last sentence?

So allow me to explain the importance of each:

1. Self-deprecation

We all have foibles and weaknesses and we shouldn't be afraid to laugh at them. I do this a lot, perhaps a little too much. There is a fine line between self-deprecation, which is healthy, and self-hatred, which is not. You should have a reasonable self-image without recourse to brashness.

I reallly hate people who constanty go on about how great they are, and then expect me to join in. If I think you're great, I'll tell you. If you tell me you're great, it means you're not. You're an eejit.

2. Intellectual Curiosity

This means a thirst for knowledge, a desire to know more about the world. I'm not saying that I expect you to have a PhD, I'm merely saying that, however much you know, you should want to know more.

The intellectually curious person likes to read about subjects in which they are not expert, in the hope that one day they may be. When they meet a person from a country to which they've never been, the intellectually curious person asks questions about that place, even if they've no intention of ever visiting.

I find the intellectually curious to be rewarding conversationists, not least beacuse they will be interested in what I have to say.

3. Joie de vivre

Ah, those French, they have a word for everything. For those of you who don't know (and if you're intellectually curious, you should want to know) this means "the joy of life".

Perhaps there is life after death, perhaps there is heaven and hell, perhaps (as I believe) there is nothing. But none of us knows for sure what lies in store once our number is up. So in the meantime, it's just good sense to try to get the most out of life. This means being positive about the big things in your life (family, friends, work). But it also means taking joy in the little things in life: a sunny day, the laughter of a child, the smell of good coffee.

I don't demand joie de vivre in every context of course. I'm not expecting you to be full of bonhomie on the day that your mother dies. Joie de vivre should not be confused with inane happiness, an inabililty to be either serious or upset. There are times when happiness is quite simply inapprporate. But on a general level, I think that taking joy from life is as sign of a healthy perspective.

Every person I know is lucky enough to have food in their stomach, clothes on their back and a roof over their head. There are millions of people who are not so fortunate. So yes, be sad when something bad happens and yes, complain (within reason) when something doesn't go your way. But for God's sake, realise how lucky you are and don't constantly moan about every little setback.

So, dear Joeuser, how many of these three do you have?

Comments (Page 1)

soupy

on May 02, 2005

three. i have three. isn't that what we decided when we went through this oh so many long nights in seoul? or was it two. maybe i don't have self-deprecation. i really can't remember, but let's say three anyway.

MasonM

on May 02, 2005

I would say that I am possessed of all three in varying degrees although I may or may not choose to display any or all of them in a given situation.

I would say that I tend to relate the first with not taking oneself too seriously.

The second I feel is probably the strongest of my inate charactoristics.

The third is representative of my basic philosophy towards life in general and leans heavily back on the first in the context of not taking oneself too seriously.

shadesofgrey

on May 02, 2005

to a degree, all, and to a degree, none.

but I do have appalling taste in men--does that help?

itgirl

on May 03, 2005

Harsh, Meghan

I've no idea. Don't think I can be self-deprecating and promote myself about such important qualities at the same time...

dharmagrl

on May 03, 2005

I have all three to varying degrees...

Ravenblack

on May 03, 2005

Nothing fixed, I am some of these, one of these or none of these, depending. I do think I have the joy of life in me most of the time. I try to enjoy the good moments as best I can.

shadesofgrey

on May 03, 2005

Harsh, Meghan

Yes, but 1. he asked for it

, and 2. it's true! (that my taste in men is horrible--not that OG is appalling!)

enigmagnetic

on May 03, 2005

Let's see, hmmm, one I am great, two people are curious of my intellect and three the only joy i get is when not thinking of life. Where do I fall, disturbed or distinct?

Manopeace

on May 03, 2005

all three have I

JillUser

on May 03, 2005

all three have I

Mano, you sound like Yoda

Three have, I do also

And technically, joie de vivre means "joy of life" not "the joy of life". There are lots of forms of joy in life so this opens it up to a lot more people

I find joy in every day. I am happy by default. so I have #3 down.

#1 Was natural to me also. I have always been aware of superior traits in others but have had the self esteem necessary to turn that into joking about rather than hating myself.

#2 I have to a lesser degree of the other 2 but still have a pretty strong sense of. I think #1 and #3 contribute to #2. I love life and don't presume to know everything about it so why wouldn't I be curious about it?

foreverserenity

on May 03, 2005

Interesting article OG. I believe I have a bit of each. There are days when there's more of one than others. These are certainly good ideals to look for in a friend.

O G San

on May 04, 2005

Soupy, you're a grand slam. A stick-on grand slam, as Big Fat Racist Ron would say.

Rachel, grand slam.

Meghan, 1 and 2, but not 3 (same as me).

Everyone else, I've never met you, so I don't know.

Pedro D

on May 04, 2005

i have three you told me so...yeah for me...but i'm ugly....do you know any more french sayings....got to love the grandslam.

O G San

on May 04, 2005

Yes, Pete, you've got the grand slam too, no worries.

Just to clarify, the bit about being a good-looking woman with awful taste in men only comes into play if you have none of the 3 attributes.

Besides Pete, your taste in men is exemplary

shadesofgrey

on May 04, 2005

Meghan, 1 and 2, but not 3 (same as me).

always interesting to see other people's opinions of you--even if you don't agree.

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